There’s a little green guy who lives in all our hearts. Usually asleep, he rarely interferes with life, not allowing us to realise how ugly he can truly be. But it’s only when it raises its ugly head that you see that no one is free from his clutches or the wicked whispers he fills your mind with… And if you ask me, I’ll be yet another person to shudder and tell you that identifying this little green monster is not as easy as you think it is.
It all started when I joined a new job a few years ago. No longer a fresher, self-doubt and low self-esteem were rapidly becoming strangers to me. My newfound confidence was not just because of the promotions. I was being recognised at work and being appreciated too. I thought nothing could go wrong.
I was very, very wrong.
My new job, though one of my dreams, proved to be nothing like my old one. For starters, I was a bit too late to the party and the boss had a designated favourite already. Over the days that followed, I did perform well. But it wasn’t really the same without the attention that I was used to. And before I knew it, I was noticing changes that made me feel like a stranger – even in my own body.
Too Busy For You
It all started with me coming up with excuses, and some very silly ones, to avoid helping my abovementioned colleague with anything. It could be something as insignificant like setting up the office printer or something as grave as presenting a pitch together – but whatever the case was, I was always busy.
Silence To The Rescue
As someone who is not an introvert, making friends in office has never been challenging for me. Neither has striking up conversations to liven up a room. But with my colleague around, I would ensure there was pin-drop silence. After all, what better way to show your displeasure. Eh?
No Room for Compliments
With everyone telling my colleague how good he was at his job, I figured that there was no need for me to do the same. So every time I had to congratulate him, I would just nod and walk away.
So what was so special about my colleague that he was considered to be better than me? I was so sure that there was nothing he could do that I couldn’t do better. So I strived to prove my worth, often losing sight of my goals in favour of a satiated ego…
I wish I could tell you all about my moment of truth born of self-reflection that made me steps towards becoming a better person because that, quite frankly, would have been a more inspiring story. But unfortunately, my moment of truth arrived only when my boss decided to have a little chat with him. You see, my behaviour with my over-achieving colleague was so starkly different from my behaviour with others, it was pretty noticeable!
It was then that I realised how wrong I had been. While snappy retorts have a charm of their own, when used mindlessly, they just come across as bitter, mean and self-centred. Not the best qualities to parade about in the office, I assure you.
Accepting that someone like me could be envious wasn’t easy at all. All my life I had heard about how toxic an emotion it was, but there I was, succumbing to it, without knowing much about what to do to make it better.
But I knew I had to try.
I started with talking to myself and accepting the insecurities that made me lash out against my colleague. Then came the part where I told myself about the insecurities that come with a new job – and even though some bits might come across as threatening, it will all get better with time. At the end of the day, there still was so much I didn’t know about my colleague, but all I had chosen was hostility because I doubted if the management was truly being fair to all employees.
Years later, when I started using Dockabl I realised that there is a rather simple solution for the likes of me, struggling to come to terms with feeling envious at work: Transparency.
With Dockabl, not only are you allowed to effortlessly allowed to set up and keep track of your tasks, but you can also get to know how the rest of your team is progressing with their work, as well as how soon they are meeting deadlines. While that might come across as boring to most, it definitely is quite an effective tool to answer questions that arise from envy within the workplace.
And in case your jealousy is stemming from feeling under-appreciated, Dockabl can help with that as well. With its unique rewarding system, you stand to earn points with every little milestone you achieve and redeeming those points can get you something that you’re guaranteed to love.
Sounds better than giving in to jealousy. Does it not?